Jerry Seinfeld once pointed out:
“According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Mike however, would never miss a chance to speak in front of a crowd. He could look the room in the eye and bullshit, while looking good doing it. Although he denied it when I pointed it out to him, it was obviously a skill he inherited from Papa Stone.
Mike’s fondest memory of being called on his BS was from back in school, for English presentation. Everyone had been given seven minutes each to deliver a speech on any topic they chose. Mike doesn’t really remember now the content of the speech he gave, but he sure didn’t forget the conclusion:
“I’ll end my speech with an old Sanskrit proverb my grandmother used to say to me when she was alive,” Mike paused for effect. “Don’t go looking for snakes, young man… You just might find them.”
The entire room of 40 people who had silently given Mike their undivided attention for the past seven minutes broke out in applause. Lauren Tan in the front row was already giving him puppy dog eyes.
Puan Zarina however, was sparse with her show of admiration. The English teacher tilted her head forward and looked over her glasses at Mike.
“Sanskrit proverb, Michael?” she asked.
Mike sighed. She doesn’t miss a thing, does she?
“Those are the lyrics to a Metallica song,” she said. “but excellent effort anyway.”
The class erupted in laughter. To this day, the class clown still asks Mike if his grandma was secretly a heavy metal fan.
